Get out of the bitter barn, and play in the hay....

There are a few things in life that irritate me (just a few...), and one of them is sour grapes.
I read an article on The Stir not long ago (which has since been taken down, so I can't link to it, sorry!), which was about Mackenzie Douthit (Teen Mom), and a tweet about breastfeeding...

Now, according to the authour of the article, this tweet was "Totally obnoxious", and Mackenzie was accused of rubbing her success in everyone's faces. Seriously, doesn't she KNOW that some people out there struggle to breastfeed? How DARE she be so pleased with herself.

Well, thank you, Captain Obvious. Breastfeeding is HARD, this is exactly why you have every right to be proud of yourself for keeping going. If the tweet had said something like "Ner ner ner, I can breastfeed and you can't, haha!", that would be obnoxious. All she was doing was giving herself a little high five, and fair play to her. She wasn't trying to make anyone feel bad if they haven't managed the same, and why should worrying about other people's struggles be her responsibility anyway?

Why, oh why do we women keep trying to tear each other down over every little thing?

When you've achieved something great, or something wonderful has happened, why shouldn't you be able to celebrate it? Why should you have to stop and feel guilty because there might be someone out there who doesn't share your success and might find it hard to take?

Here's the thing - your life = your responsibility.

Other people's lives = not your responsibility.

We shouldn't be made to feel bad every time we have something to celebrate, because guess what? There will always be someone out there having a harder time, and as long as you're not clearly just deliberately trying to personally wind them up, being happy is your right.

I remember being massively berated during a discussion online about dating - some of us had boyfriends, some of us were dating, some of us were struggling to find someone, anyone.

The girls there had been part of the forum for years, and we'd all seen each other through ups and downs. Despite the fact that they'd seen everything I'd gone through - divorce, singledom, meeting wrong people, meeting the right person and eventually getting engaged, a few of them struggled to accept my new happiness. In fact, I was asked to leave the conversation because my talk of wedding plans was apparently rubbing it in the face of girls who were struggling to find anyone at all. I was accused of   being insensitive to the fact that some people still hadn't found what I had.

In other words "Your happiness is reminding me that I don't have the same joy right now, so go away and be quiet"

Well, sod off. We've all had our crosses to bear, we've all had our lessons to learn and that's just life. Sometimes you're up, sometimes you're down.

"Being sensitive" to other people's misfortune doesn't mean that you should deny your own happiness or feel guilty for it, it just means don't harp on about it all the time, or be happy, but listen to other people as well.

It's a huge misconception that people who celebrate their successes are "full of themselves" or bragging - for the most part, I think people are generally just expressing gratitude for the good things they have going on, because they might have struggled to get there or be aware that they won't be there forever.

It could go on forever - don't be happy about breastfeeding, because some people struggle to breastfeed. In fact, don't whine about struggling to breastfeed, because some people can't even have kids. Oh, and how dare you be walking around on two legs, don't you know some people are in wheelchairs? And don't even consider posting recipes for delicious food online when there are people starving in the world....

You see what I mean? There will always be someone willing to suck the joy out of every situation, but you can't go through life being terrified to open your mouth in case you offend someone, because trust me, if someone wants to be offended, they will find you, and any excuse to tear you down.

There's NO such thing as a charmed life. Just because someone has something that you don't, or has achieved something that you haven't, it doesn't mean that they're luckier than you, it just means that this is the direction their life has taken. Maybe you have something that they'd secretly love to have. At the end of the day, we all have our ups and downs in life, and jealousy is ugly.

If you have a great house, good for you! If you have a flat stomach, that's great! If you have tons of money, enjoy it! If you have a hot husband, that's wonderful! If you have gorgeous, well behaved children who are always immaculate and perfect, you're a goddamn liar brilliant! If you have breastfed for as long as you wanted to, then that's amazing!

If you have all of the above, I hate you, bitch.

Just kidding, I love you really.

Dear Amelie...

.....I can't believe you are one year old already! How did that happen?
It's been the most amazing year, seriously. It's been the most exhausting, exhilarating, fantastic, fun filled year of discovery we could ever have imagined.
You are so clever and sweet, and you make us all smile every single day. You really are an innocent bundle of joy and possibility. To you, the whole world is a magical place, where the sound of a bird tweeting or the sight of a balloon is enough to make you squeal with happiness. I hope you always see the magic in the world, and thank you for reminding us what it's like to see life through brand new eyes.
We have taught you so much this year - we've taught you to enjoy good food, to not touch dangerous things (that one's a work in progress), that a doggie says "woof" and a birdie says "tweet tweet" and that sleep really isn't such a bad thing after all.
You have taught us so much more than that. You've taught us to live in the moment, to get excited about the little things, like flowers and juice and tickly raindrops on our skin.
You've reminded us that when you hear a good tune, there's nothing that should stop you from dancing right there and then, with the biggest smile on your face.
You've taught us that even on very little sleep, it's still possible to wake up smiling and continue to spread fun and laughter through the day.
You've taught us the meaning of patience and perseverance - even though you've been my most "sleepless" baby, you've also been the most enjoyable, because far from feeling sorry for myself in my constant tiredness, I've learned that smiling and getting on with it is so much more positive.
I guess it took me three kids to realise how fast this childhood malarkey really goes.
Your joy and positivity has rubbed off on all of us, and given us all a new energy. We were always happy, positive people before, but you have given us even more sparkle and zest for life.

Thank you, for all of these things and so much more.
Here's to the next year, and the next, and the next!
How wonderful life is, now you're in the world.

Mummy, Daddy, Charlie and Daisy xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Back in the habit

For as long as I can remember, I've been a reader, and aspired to be a writer.

As a young child, I read simple books with my mum, and at a very young age, began to read for myself. I started out with Mr Men and Garfield picture books, but quickly moved onto Enid Blyton, avidly reading every chapter, loving the fact that I could get lost in these worlds and get to know these amazing characters.

I read everything I could get my hands on, and was on first name terms with the local librarians, always in there, getting new books to race home and pore over.

As I got older, I moved on to more teenage fiction - Sweet Valley High, Point Horror, that sort of thing. 

I wrote constantly - journals, poems, short stories. I never ran out of inspiration, and was delighted that when I asked my English teacher if he believed I could be a writer, he replied "Absolutely, and I fully expect you to dedicate your first book to me".

Into my adult years, I loved chick lit, but also enjoyed non-fiction, especially self improvement books and books about philosophy, psychology and religion. There was always something new to learn, and I was never happier than when I was browsing the shelves of a bookshop.

In fact, books and music were pretty much all I spent my money on...as I've said before, clothes and make-up really weren't my "thing", if I ever had a few spare quid, you could find me happily wandering in a music store or bookshop. There's something magical about old bookshops, isn't there? You just don't know what treasures you might find.

Anyway, fast forward to now. How many books have I read in the past three years? Um....none. Well, maybe one, but I re-read that, having read it years before, so it doesn't count.

What's happened to me? Well, it's a combination, I guess. For one thing, I'm always so busy during the day with the house and the kids, by night time, I don't really have the energy to concentrate on anything too lengthy or involved.

For another thing, the internet happened. Now, I love the internet, don't get me wrong, but it has completely killed my attention span.

You know the story, you wake up, you check your phone. You make a cup of tea, check your phone. Feed the kids, check your phone. Have a shower, check your phone. Go out, check your phone. Come home, check your phone. Hell, I can't even make it through a half hour TV programme without checking my sodding phone!

I know I'm not alone, but I think technology moves so fast and is so immediate, it's ruined a lot of people's ability to concentrate on anything for any length of time.

Nowadays, I read the odd blog post, Facebook post, web news article (which I've probably seen on Facebook), and that's fine. I have time for that. I can concentrate on these things, because they're only a few hundred words long and then I can go about my business again.

Reading books is much harder, because I struggle to find time to read more than a chapter at a time, then it might be a few days before I can read another chapter, by which time I've lost the plot and forgotten stuff, and eventually it becomes so long between chapters that I lose interest entirely and yet another book is consigned to the "I never did get round to that" pile.

Time to change all that. I mean, how hard can it be? I miss reading, I miss getting so excited about the next chapter that I race through all my jobs just so I can get back to my book. Time to set myself an internet curfew, set aside some real, uninterrupted (except maybe by kids) time and just read an actual paper book.

After all, just as I believe you can't be a truly great cook unless you love eating and appreciate good food, you can't be a truly great writer unless you love reading and can appreciate good prose.

I've borrowed a copy of "The Burgess Boys" by Elizabeth Strout to get me back in the habit. My friend (who happens to be the librarian!) raved about it and said it lit the touchpaper to get her out of the same bad habits that I'm in, and reignited her love of reading. I really hope it does the same for me!

Do you read? Do you wish you read more often? And most importantly, can you recommend me any good books? I'd love to hear from you!

When are you ready for a baby?

After today's post, one of my friends said in a reply that she isn't anywhere near ready to have a baby yet, which got me thinking - how do you know when you're ready?

If you have kids, did you make that decision and decide that you were ready? In fact, are any of us ever ready?
The way I see it, if you're waiting for the right time, the right stage in your relationship, the right financial situation, the right point in your career, you'll never truly be ready. Yay for "happy accidents"!
Having said that, here's a few ways to find out if you're "ready"....

1) Do you enjoy waking up at 20 minute intervals through the night?

2) Do you like getting poop on your hands?

3) Do you enjoy being watched while you're on the toilet?

4) Do you feel that your day isn't complete until you've done 20,000 loads of laundry?

5) Do you find it amusing to clean a room, only to find it wrecked again 10 minutes later?

6) Do you like eating your dinner cold, while standing up?

7) Do you enjoy finding 57 cold, half finished cups of tea around the house?

8) Would it be funny to be constantly trying to save the life of a tiny nutjob with no sense of danger?

9) Are you happy enough to only have sex on special occasions?

10) Is it fun to share your bed with a midget contortionist who can only sleep with their butt in your face and their feet on your partner's face?

11) Do you like being headbutted in your sleep?

12) Would your kitchen benefit from having food thrown all over it?

13) Do you fancy spending the entirety of your beach holiday frantically trying to find a small person who is running towards the sea, and then spend an hour trying to get them to stop eating
sand?

14) Do you like crying your way through the news, because you no longer have any control over your emotions?

15) Do you fancy taking off your bra and having your boobs unroll their way toward the floor?

16) In fact, speaking of boobs, do you like having them bitten - not in a kinky, 50 Shades kind of way, but in an angry, rabid dog kind of way?

17) Also, do you like the idea of getting your saggy, bruised, bitten boobs out in public, or worse, in front of your father in law?

18) Do you feel sexy in leggings and milk stained t-shirts?

19) Do you find it rewarding to be judged by every single person who crosses your path, and to be berated for "not taking advice" every time something goes wrong?

20) Do you love feeling permanently guilty?

21) Do you have any idea what it feels like to step on a lego in the middle of the night and stay perfectly silent because you don't dare wake anybody?

22) Do you find it adorable to attempt to dress somebody who will not stay still for one effing second? Think trying to stuff an octopus in a Pringles tube, or put a harness on a bumblebee.

23) Are you FREAKING MENTAL?

If the answer to any of these is YES, then congratulations, you're ready for parenthood!
If the answer to one or more is NO, then congratulations, you're still ready! Because guess what, you'll never be ready, which in a way, kind of means you'll always be ready.

We'll stumble our way around this journey, making countless mistakes, wasting loads of time and money, and missing more sleep than we'll ever be able to catch up on.
But you know what? Ready or not, you'll never, ever, ever regret it.

How pregnancies change

First Pregnancy

* You are a delicate flower - everyone and their dog will ask how you're feeling every two seconds, so much that you will want to stab them in the eye and say "I'M FINE!!!!"

* After about 10 weeks, you will start to look a little softer, rounder, and like you've put on a little weight. 

* After about 24 weeks, you'll start to look properly pregnant.

* You will eat super healthy foods, checking compulsively that something is "safe" before it's even allowed in your house.

*You will lift nothing heavier than a cup of (herbal) tea. If anyone catches you lifting anything at all, they will rush to your aid and tell you to sit down and rest. You will find this intensely annoying.

* You will want to show how healthy and strong you are by carrying on as normal right up until the end of your pregnancy. Rest is for the weak!

* You will be determined to have a pain free, drug free, silent birth, preferably in the woods or the ocean, with nothing more than woodland animals by your side, as nature intended.

SECOND PREGNANCY

* People will always stop to coo over your toddler, and occasionally ask how you are. You will find this intensely annoying.

* After having your first baby, you are already softer, rounder and looking a bit fatter than before. Sorry about that.

* After about 10 weeks, you will start to look properly pregnant.

* You will try to eat super healthy foods, but mostly be so hungry, you'll be stealing potato waffles and ketchup off your toddler's plate. Chocolate gets you through the day.

* You lift nothing heavier than your toddler, which is especially fun when they have those "rubber child" tantrums and become a dead weight in the middle of the supermarket. People will say "You shouldn't be lifting, should you?", but that's as far as the help goes.

* You will fall asleep in the middle of "Dora The Explorer", secretly hoping that your toddler will become bilingual with the amount of spanish speaking cartoons they're watching while you snooze.

* You will be determined to have every method of pain relief available to you in labour. In fact, after last time, you wonder if there's any chance they could just knock you out and wake you up when it's over.

THIRD PREGNANCY

* When you announce your pregnancy, people will react as if you've just told them what you're having for dinner, by saying "Oh, that's nice", and changing the subject.

* You will start to look pregnant about 5 minutes after taking the test.

* You will lift nothing heavier than your eldest child's mountain bike, while onlookers simply laugh and say "You must be mental!"
Um, yes.

* You will eat all day long, because there's no time to sit down for an actual meal. Grazing is the future! Crisps, chocolate and fizzy drinks are your friend.

* You will sleep in 5 minute bursts, because the second you sit or lie down at any given time of the day or night, someone will need you for something. Did you know that horses sleep standing up? Why hasn't evolution made this happen for pregnant mothers?

* You will be so busy, you won't even think about labour until you're fully dilated and then think "Oh yeah, I thought I was a bit uncomfy today..."

FOURTH PREGNANCY

* When you annouce your pregnancy, people will react by saying "Really? Did you mean for that to happen?"

* You will have started looking pregnant before you even suspected you might be.

* You will eat leftovers off your kids plates, your husband's plate, and you won't be allowed into restaurants after that embarrassing episode when you walked round Harry Ramsden's stealing chips off small children. Rare steaks, dippy eggs and goats cheese are top of your cravings list.
When someone asks if what you're eating is "safe", you'll say "Who are you, the pregnancy police?"

*You'll lift nothing heavier than the average bodybuilder's free weights, while also carrying your toddler and your older children's schoolbags.

* When people see you with 6 bags of shopping on each arm, they'll laugh and say "I don't envy you much!"

* You'll laugh manically when anyone asks if you're "resting"

Random rant - response to Paris Lees

I'm not generally one for spouting strong opinions - I'm such a natural people pleaser that I tend to crumble at the slightest whiff of disagreement from someone. I don't generally like confrontation, and try to take an open minded, let's look at this from every angle kind of approach.

However, recently, I've had some experience of standing my ground, fighting my corner and giving my side of the story - and you know what? It felt bloody marvellous.

Plus, I think people have more respect for someone who is willing so stand by their beliefs, rather than a feeble fence sitter who will back down at the smallest challenge. Having said that, I will always listen to other people's point of view, and will never just shout anyone down.

So, in an effort to get my splinter covered bum off the fence for a change, I had to post this response to an article I read recently - I'm sure you'll have heard of Josie Cunningham, a girl who has shot to fame by getting a boob job on the NHS so she could become a glamour model, and more recently caused a stir by saying she wanted to have an abortion at 19 weeks because she wanted to appear on Celebrity Big Brother.

I should add that she has since changed her mind and chosen not to go ahead with the abortion - cynical publicity stunt, anyone?

The article in question was written by Paris Lees, and this is the full article here.

Basically, I wanted to write a bigger post on this, because there are some points she makes that I fully agree with, and others that I totally disagree with.

First of all, she speaks about the social media storm following the original abortion story - where thousands of people made horrible remarks about Josie's appearance, her upbringing, her morals, you name it. Death threats aplenty.

Not cool, people. As soon as you start with the name calling and threats of physical violence, you've lost your moral high ground. But then Paris goes on to say;

Her crime? She wants to be famous. Clearly she is the first woman in Britain with the sufficient audacity to express this disgusting desire. Never mind Jessie J and Rita Ora and whatsherface off of EastEnders and all those other women who presumably were hungry enough for fame that they went out and got it. They probably have nice tits. Josie’s don’t make the grade though, so she doesn’t get to be famous. She should just stay in Leeds and shut up.

Okay, but let's not forget that these people all worked and trained for their jobs in the entertainment industry. Why do we suddenly have this generation of entitled kids who believe that they just want it all but not to have to do anything to get it? Why is it that the likes of Joey Essex and the cast of Geordie Shore think that they're entitled to have all the trappings of fame and fortune, but all they have to do is get their tits out or be mind numbingly stupid? What happened to actually working for your ambitions in life?

Fair enough, Paris does acknowledge that Josie doesn't exactly enamour herself to the public, by bragging about her NHS boob job and her abortion plans. Quite.

Then, she goes on speak about how the media is forever highlighting famous women's bodies, how the headlines are never about what a woman has achieved, but how much leg she was showing, or how amazing her cleavage looked at an awards ceremony.

Culture, I’m confused. Do we celebrate young women who take off their clothes? Or do we despise them? Or does it all depend on which woman is taking her clothes off? And, if so, how does the woman find out, beforehand, which sort of woman she is – and if she is likely to be celebrated or despised? 

Now, I completely agree - I hate the misogynistic way that the media choose to overlook talent, contribution to society or achievement, and instead focus on boobs and legs. Such is the shallow, vacuous, looks obsessed, empty celebrity society they seem to live in. It sucks, I'm with you there.

Now, the article goes on to imply that the public reaction might be different if a woman chose to have an abortion for a more "well respected" career, such as a barrister or a surgeon. Well, apart from the fact that these careers are probably something that someone has been studying and working hard towards all their lives, you might assume that they wouldn't have babies in their immediate plans anyway, and if they accidentally found themselves pregnant, they might face a very tough decision.

I suspect there’s more than a whiff of snobbery when people pile in to judge Josie for her plans to abort her baby. What would the reaction be if she were a little more refined, a little less Northern, a little less fake-tanned? If she’d been talking to the Lady instead of the Mirror? If her language were more delicate? She says she’s “a good mum” but “this is ­something I have wanted for so long. I can’t give up my big break for anything”. What if "big break" referred to training as a barrister, or a surgeon, rather than a stint in the Big Brother house? Would people be admiring Josie for her steely determination and fearlessness in the face of tough personal decisions?

I can only talk for myself here, but I'm not sure I would applaud anyone for choosing to have an abortion at 19 weeks because they got a better offer, whatever that offer may be. I think there might be a slight difference between being halfway through a very long term training and career plan which didn't have babies in it at all, and choosing to take a quick fix over a life.

While I would respect a woman's choice to take a career over a child, I have to be honest, I wouldn't be throwing them a congratulations party.

Then, Paris goes on to speak about the reaction from Nicola McClean, another glamour model type whom she compares to Josie, because let's face it, they have a lot of similarities. Nicola did say some pretty nasty things about Josie, and Paris points out that they've both had cosmetic surgery;

She also had an operation when she was a child to correct a “bad squint”. It’s not my place to say if this squint was cosmetic but I’m pretty sure squints aren’t life threatening. But she had it done. On the NHS! The bloody NHS paying for things that aren’t cancer. Utter bastards.

Really? Can we compare a childhood operation to correct a sight problem with an adult having a boob job in order to fast track her way to fame and fortune? Not really a valid comparison, is it?

Now comes my favourite part;

Still, Nicola tweeted that she is: "Totally outraged reading about that stupid slag that wants an abortion so she can go on big brother !!! She doesn't deserve children." It’s funny because, while Josie said that one of her reasons for considering an abortion was so she could appear on BB, she also cites the children she already has and her desire to give them the best in life: “I want it for myself but I want it for my boys… I love them and I want to be able to buy them the most expensive toys and to give them nice holidays. People will criticise me but I’m a good mother.” No one seems to be talking about that bit.

Now, hold on a cotton picking minute. She didn't say she was doing it for her KIDS! That makes it all okay!

"Hey kids, guess what? You could have had a brother or sister but I chose to get rid of them for money. So yeah, they're dead now, but look at our massive telly!"

I'm sorry, but on what fucking planet is it okay to teach our children that things are more important than people? That money is more important than life? That fame is more important than relationships?

And to put that kind of responsibility onto her kids? "Yes kids, I got rid of your brother or sister, but I did it for you!"

Okay, so not only are they responsible for this decision, but they're also expected to be grateful! Sod off.

It makes me so sad that Josie is so desperate for fame that she'd rather be famous for being hated than not famous at all. Why would you teach your kids that it's okay that mummy gets spat at in the street, look at her pink Range Rover!  Why would you teach your kids that material things - shiny, fancy expensive things are more important than integrity, dignity, and love?

It worries me that we seem to have spawned a generation of entitled assholes who just want the stuff, the money and the fame at any cost, so much so that they'd sell the lives of their own children to get them.

We get by financially, but we're not well off by any means. Our bills are paid, our kids are fed, but fancy holidays are out, designer clothes are out - hell, even a trip to Costco to stock up the freezer is a special occasion that we have to save weeks in advance for. But we're teaching our kids that if you want something, you work for it, you save for it, you don't just stomp your feet and expect a quick fix.

I can see why we do have a generation of people who think "Sod the education - I'll just marry a footballer/get my tits out". Why bother when you can do that? It just makes me sad is all.

Paris finishes by saying;

I still may not agree with your motives, or how you choose to present yourself in the media, and you’re never gonna get a Pride of Britain award, babe. But you don’t deserve all that blind hate and death threats. Your boobs, by the way, are fine. The really ugly tits are the ones that have been bullying you.

Damn right, I totally agree. Keep the death threats, the name calling and the blind hate to yourself please.

I think I just feel strongly about this because personally, I've had to make sacrifices for my children. I had to give up a hard fought place on a midwifery degree programme because I couldn't afford the childcare, I had to give up a photography course because I was offered a full time job, and at that time, feeding my kids was more important than fulfilling my personal ambitions. I know what it's like to have to choose between your dreams and your kids, and for me, my kids win, every time.

If someone came to me right now at 15 weeks pregnant and said they could give me a millionaire lifestyle on the condition that I aborted my baby, I'd tell them to get stuffed, and so would my kids. They know what's more important. We might be driving a clapped out old campervan instead of a range rover, but we've got something that money can't buy.

A hot date with the ironing

When I look at Daisy, I see a lot of my younger self in her - a wee, skinny girl with thin, permanently messy hair and glasses always falling down her nose.

Like me as a child, she doesn't care much about how she looks - she'd rather be climbing trees and rockpooling than worrying about getting her shoes dirty. She's not quite a tomboy, but certainly not a princess type, either!

She's adorable, but shy and awkward about her appearance, she hates being called pretty, and has already had the odd comment from classmates, girls as young as 7, who are already into clothes and shoes and hair, about how her outfit doesn't match or her hair isn't sitting right. She's not bothered - she, like me, is growing up not noticing, or caring what other people look like. It's just not that important, is it?

It does make me wonder...is caring about your appearance something that you're born with, something that either comes naturally or doesn't?

I've never been one to take time to worry much about my appearance. As a kid, I was always the scruffy one, genuinely not giving a damn what I looked like. A a young teenager, I cared much more, but didn't have a clue what to do about it. I wasn't naturally into clothes or make up, and didn't know where to start putting an outfit or hairstyle together. It bothered me massively that it seemed as if all the other girls were way prettier than me, but I just didn't know where to start. Where was I when they taught these girls how to be so attractive, anyway?

Nowadays, I'm much the same. My lifestyle doesn't really allow for much prettiness - my days consist of housework, cooking, dog walking and going out and about with the kids, so my mum uniform is generally a practical combo of leggings, tshirts and no make up.

So why is is that I reserve the right to feel so intimidated by other women? Everywhere I go, everyone is so much more "put together" than me - their clothes match, they have make up on, their hair is done, they are in control of themselves. Why am I not like that?

Why am I the frumpy one in the baggy, stained clothes, with a make up free, wrinkly face and flat, sad looking hair?

I'll tell you who is to blame for this. Me.

It's not the kids' fault. If I wanted to, I could take 5 minutes in the morning to slap on a bit of mascara and lipstick. It wouldn't inhibit my ability to do housework, would it?

If I wanted to, I could put on a dress and sandals occasionally, it's hardly like I'm constantly splashing bleach all over myself while cleaning, it wouldn't be so much harder to do the hoovering in a skirt, would it?

If I wanted to, I could choose that instead of wasting 5-10 minutes during a quiet moment on Facebook, Viral Nova or Buzz Feed (do I REALLY need to know what colour represents my personality or what city I should live in?), I could invest those few minutes in applying a nice hand cream, painting my nails occasionally or doing something else that is for ME, that makes me feel nice, and worthy of a few minutes' indulgence.

We need to remember that we might be parents, that our lives might be devoted to these little angels, but that we are also worthy of feeling good about ourselves.

I'm a naturally very low maintenance kind of girl, but when I start to feel crappy about going into the playground because I feel ugly, it's time to take action and remind myself that I deserve to look and feel good too, and only I can do that.

Time to shake off these frumpy leggings and get my groove back, starting with a quick haircut and colour while Amelie is asleep.

Have you been on the slippery slope to Frumpsville lately? Do you ever get that feeling?

Come and join me in 5 minutes of indulgent me-time. We might not have nights out or offices to get ready for, but we can still take a minute to remind ourselves that we're still worth looking good for.

I'm off to hunt out my reddest lippy - I've got a hot date with the ironing....