Bank holiday shopping! #Morrisonsmum

You know you don't get out often when you get excited at the prospect of shopping in a different supermarket than usual.....

Last week, Morrisons reduced the prices of over 1000 items, and to launch the new "I'm Cheaper" campaign, they teamed up with BritMums to offer a select few bloggers the chance to try out their products with a very generous £80 worth of vouchers. You can imagine how delighted I was to be selected, and the smile on my face when this arrived in the post...

Even better that it arrived on a particularly skint week, when lots of unexpected bills arrived, so a week's worth of free shopping was a godsend!

I've always liked Morrisons, but the nearest one to me is more than a half hour drive away, so I tend to stick to my more local supermarket. I was very excited to be trying somewhere I wasn't very familiar with, and couldn't wait to see what they had that my local shop didn't.

I wasn't disappointed! When we first arrived, we were very impressed by the huge range of fresh fruit and veg, all presented in a bright and tempting way.

Everything looked beautiful, and we were particularly excited to see such a wide range of loose chillies. We are absolute chilli fiends, but our local place has precisely one variety, in a sealed plastic bag, which means that you have no control over how many you can buy. The choice in Morrisons was brilliant!

What's more, they were really cheap, with the scotch bonnets working out at just 10p each, and the long finger chillies working out at just 3p each! Bargain! We bought loads :)

I also liked the wicker baskets they were in, giving more of a market feel. 

The next thing I got all giddy about were the fresh herbs, sold in little tied bunches, rather than sealed plastic bags, and were kept nice and fresh with a rather dramatic blast of dry ice....

I bought a lovely big bunch of mint and one of coriander, at a bargainous 75p each.They had a massive range of herbs, I was most impressed.

We liked that a lot of the fruit and veg were 3 for £1.50, so it was easy to work out what we were spending as we merrily chucked things into the trolley!

There's a great selection of meat and fish, and lots of it is 3 for £10, which again makes budgeting much easier. I chose a pack of mini chicken fillets (half of which we grilled and had with salad, and half of which we mixed with vegetables in a curry), a gammon joint (which I slow cooked and served over two nights - once shredded with salad, and once sliced and served with potatoes and peas), and a pack of diced casserole beef (which I slow cooked with peppers, onions and sweet potatoes to make a chunky chilli).

Almost a week's worth of meals from £10 worth of meat, awesome!

Nobody can resist a cheese counter!

The selection of freshly baked (and still warm!) pies was awesome. We chose creamy chicken pies and scotch pies for lunch and both were delicious.

The salad bar is a brilliant idea, you have several clear plastic boxes to choose from, and just pay a set price according to the size of box, so you can fill it with any combination of salad you like. I took a spicy chicken pasta salad and a pesto pasta salad, both gorgeous.

When biscuits and crisps are this cheap, why the hell not? And I can balance it out with all that gorgeous fresh fruit and veg I bought....

Anyway, we decided to make the most of the weekend with a trip to a beach, so we visited Lunan Bay in Angus. It's seriously beautiful, a huge sandy beach with loads of massive dunes for climbing on. The kids had a ball, and our haul from Morrisons gave us a really lovely picnic. The kids are not fans of sandwiches, so our bag was stuffed with various other nibbles - our pasta salads, cocktail sausages, hummous, crisps, olives, fruit, cold meats etc. Plenty to keep us going all day!

We also decided to make a yummy homemade pudding of Berry Mess, with the leftover berries from our fruit salad. Here's the recipe we used:

BERRY MESS

INGREDIENTS

• 260 g mixed berries, including blueberries, blackberries, strawberries, raspberries
• 1 tbsp plus 1 tsp icing sugar
• 125 ml double cream
• 1/4 tsp vanilla extract
• 200 g Greek yogurt
• 2 x 35g meringue nests, broken into nests

 

METHOD

1. Put the berries in a bowl. Add 1 tablespoon of icing sugar and mix, crushing a few of the berries.

2. In a separate bowl, put the cream, the remaining 1 teaspoon of icing sugar and the vanilla and whip to soft peaks. Stir the yogurt to loosen slightly.

3. Carefully fold the yogurt into the cream with the berries and the meringue.

4. Spoon the mixture into 4 glasses and serve. 

Unfortunately, it was so delicious, we ate it before I remembered to take a photo of the finished result, oops!

It was really nice, and worked out at just 68p per portion, can't complain!

Anyway, I was incredibly impressed with Morrisons, beautifully fresh food, very friendly staff, delicious meals, and amazing value for money. Well worth the drive, they've definitely found a new regular customer in me!

Thank you, BritMums and Morrisons!

Black holes and revelations

My lovely friend Alex at Medicated Follower of Fashion posted this wonderful insight yesterday, into her experiences with anxiety, and it inspired me to talk to you about my own experiences.

Yesterday, I had a "black hole day". I haven't had one of those in a really long time, but as anyone who has ever experienced anxiety and/or depression before will tell you - it can go away for really long periods of time, but you are never completely free from it. It hangs around outside your house like a wolf, occasionally growling at you, peering through your windows, reminding you every now and then that it's still out there, waiting for you to leave your door open long enough for it to pounce.

As you know, I'm a bit too honest. I overshare. Nothing is sacred, but I see that as a strength rather than a weakness. I want you to know when I'm having a bad day, or feeling inadequate, or struggling to think straight, so that you can read it and know that you're not alone.
When everyone else seems to have their shit together, when they say they're doing "great, fabulous, never better", and you wonder if they've ever had a bad day in their life and you're the only one winging it, I'm the one who will stand up and admit that I feel weak, lost and tired sometimes.

It's not a whinge, and I'm certainly not asking anyone to tell me what to do. I'm saying it because it's true, and for the most part, I know that everythnig will be alright again in an hour, a day, a week. But in THAT MOMENT, I will step forward and say "You know what? This is really bloody hard".
It's scary. Once I've posted it, I think "Shit, now everyone knows that I'm having a bad day", but I'm always surprised and encouraged by the number of people who tell me they're really glad I posted, because they felt the same way and didn't want to admit it.

I've suffered from several periods of depression and anxiety in my life - the very worst one probably being when Charlie was about a year old. I'd given up my nursing career (by not renewing my registration, my qualification became null and void), and was struggling as a stay at home mum.
I was constantly reminded of my inability to contribute financially, and often felt useless when there were financial struggles.
I became obsessed with Charlie being happy at all times, and couldn't cope when he cried for the simplest of reasons, because I felt as if I was failing at making him happy. The slightest comment from anyone made me fly into a panic, because I felt as if motherhood was literally all I had, and I couldn't even do that right.
I became an absolute nervous wreck, bursting into tears all the time and feeling as if Charlie would be better off without me.
I even developed a form of psychosis, believing that someone wanted me dead, and they were trying to make it look like suicide by planting thoughts in my head. I self harmed, by battering my head off walls and punching myself in the face.

If anyone ever wonders why I so vehemently advocate non judgement of Peaches Geldof, this is why. No-one really knows how it feels to be inside someone else's head. When I self harmed, I wasn't being selfish, I genuinely believed that Charlie had been cursed with a useless mother and deserved better than me.

I eventually managed to drag myself out of that particular bout of depression, but the wolf was always there. Even when I had months or years at a time of feeling good, I could feel his breath on my neck when I had a stressful moment, nuzzling my face, asking me if I wanted to go and snuggle up in a black hole where it would be safe and cosy.
Most of the time, I was able to take a deep breath and remind myself that the wolf wasn't real, but every now and then the stress would overcome me and the wolf would pounce.
The anxiety was the worst. Feeling tight chested, unable to breathe clearly, unable to think in a straight line.
I could usually keep the wolf under control by writing lists. Obsessive, endless lists of everything from making a cup of tea, to having a shower, to dressing the kids.
It was literally the only way I could keep track of my thoughts. Of course, occasionally, things would happen that were not on the list, and the panic would overwhelm me. The wolf would pin me against the wall and the only way I could get any oxygen would be to hit myself and bring myself back to reality.

Anyway, I digress. These black hole days are now very few and far between, my situation is now much calmer, happier and most importantly, full of support. The wolf is still there though, I know he's out there and I can never fully allow myself to forget that.

This week, things became a bit too much. An incident involving my children being criticised and my mothering skills being questioned, not just once but over and over and over again, caused the panic to rise. The person in question didn't know it, or mean any real harm, but they were picking a scab over a very deep wound, and when the wound was opened, the wolf jumped out and grabbed me right by the throat. Without even taking a breath, I was thrust back into the blackest hole I've ever been in, the one where I believed my mothering skills were useless, my kids were being failed, and everyone deserved better than me.
I so wanted to scream at the wolf that he wasn't real, that I knew I was a good mum and that I wasn't going to stand for this, but the doubt, the self loathing and the blackness overwhelmed me.
I cried for about 4 days straight, and wondered if I was ever going to be able to pull myself out of this hole. So I did what I do best - I took off my armour, I went into the lion's den and I overshared. I posted on Facebook that I was in a black hole and asked for some help to pull me out.

What happened? My lovely, gorgeous friends, who all know what it's like to be in a black hole, reached their hands in and helped me. With kind words, offers of tea and cake and cuddles, and general loveliness. I grabbed every one of those hands, and I got out.
With my invisible army behind me, I found the strength I needed to lock that wolf back where he belonged.

So, that's my experience of anxiety, and if I had one tip for anyone who suffers, it would be to ask for support. Not help as such, or advice. None of us needs to be told what to do, we just need someone to say "I understand how you feel, and I'm here".

I hope that's what I do for you.

Getting to know me...

I've been tagged by Mungle at Mungleville in the Getting To Know You tag, so here goes!
It's a fab way for us bloggers and our readers to find out more about each other, so here's a post al about me...

Tell us five facts about yourself

1) I'm obsessed with cooking. I read cookbooks like they're mystery novels, and have an almost out of control cookbook collection. Although I don't have the same amount of time these days for leisurely browsing through cookbooks or pottering around trying new recipes, I still cook from scratch every single day, and get very excited about trying a new recipe.

2) I'm waiting to train as a humanist celebrant. Having done loads of different jobs over the years, from office work, to nursing, to being a chef, I've decided that I really want to get involved in Humanism, and would love nothing more than conducting weddings and funerals in a personal, non-religious way. Another new, exciting direction for me!

3) I met my soulmate at the age of 32. It takes a huge amount of courage to admit that you've been living a lie with the wrong person for far too long, but I got out of an unhappy situation and accepted that I'd rather be alone than with someone I didn't love. The leap of faith paid off when I met my now husband, and got that elusive "Fireworks and sparkles" feeling that I'd always wanted but wondered if it even existed. Trust me, it does.

4) I'm trained in Reiki and Angel therapy. Not something that I practice - not professionally, anyway! I have the certificates and could if I wanted to, but it's just not a direction I ever took. I still read angel cards occasionally and have a great belief in signs and divine messages.

5) I have 3 tattoos. One is of butterflies going up my lower back - I got this when I was 18 to signify the change between a child and an adult, because I was really deep back then, maaaan.
One is of the scientific "female" symbol - the cross with a circle on top, only mine has horns and a halo. I got it when I was 21 to say "I'm a woman, with a good side and a bad side"
Man, I was such a wanker.
The third is my favourite, I designed it myself. It's on my left wrist, and is a daisy on the top, because my daughter's name is Daisy, and a sun on the bottom, for Charlie, my son. They're connected by lots of squiggly lines, because although I get pulled in many different directions, I always start and end with my kids.
I still like this one, and need to get more, for Amelie, Steve, and the new baby.

When is your birthday?

My birthday is in August, which means it was always the summer holidays and I never had to be in school on my birthday, yay!

What is your favourite colour?

I'd have to say purple, I have an awesome pair of purple Doc Martens, which I love!

What is your favourite memory?

I have lots of obvious favourite memories, such as marrying Steve and the births of my kids, but some of my other favourite moments involve times when we've all been together as a family, enjoying something simple like a campfire or a sunset. One of my favourite memories is when we went on a camping trip in our van, Doris. It was such a beautiful day and we found a stone circle where the kids got really excited, making up games. I love the fact that we don't need much in the way of money or entertainment, just time together out in nature. We're hippies at heart!

Describe a day in your life

I've done a few "day in the life" posts in the past, but a typical day goes like this;

6am: Get woken up by Amelie, who is standing up in her cot, waving and smiling at us.

7am: Get kids up, showered and breakfasted. Get myself ready and tidy the kitchen.

9am: Take kids to school.

9.30am: Get Amelie down for a nap, do housework.

12noon: Lunch for me and Amelie

1pm: More tidying, play with Amelie, possible catch up with a friend.

2.30pm: Put Amelie in bugy and walk with her and Molly to school.

3.20pm: Pick kids up, walk home.

4.30pm: Afternoon snack for kids, start preparing dinner. More tidying.

5pm: Quick slap of make up, run round with hoover, finish making dinner.

6pm: Steve home, eat dinner, tidy up, take Molly out, homework with kids, shower Amelie.

7.30pm: I settle Amelie while Steve cleans kitchen/living room.

8.30pm: Settle Daisy.

9pm: Remind Charlie that it's bedtime, flop in front of telly with Steve.

10pm: Bed! If I' lucky, Amelie will only wake once, take a uick drink and go back down until 6am. Sometimes however, she's up and down like Jordan's knickers.

Name five of your favourite songs

Don't Stop Me Now - Queen. I'm a massive Queen fan, I wish I could have seen them live.

Can't Help Falling in Love - Eels. I walked down the aisle to this song, and it still makes me cry! If you've never heard Eels' version, find it now!

Perfect - Pink. I adore Pink, and this is my favourite of her songs. It's so powerful, we should all forgive ourselves for our mistakes and love ourselves more.

Sigh No More - Mumford & Sons. "Love, it will not betray you, dismay or enslave you, it will set you free." I remember about a week after I met Steve, I listened to this song and burst into tears when I heard that line. It was exactly how I felt. Until that moment, I'd been afraid of love, because I thought it meant being trapped. I vowed that the next time I saw Steve, I would tell him I was in love with him, and I did.

Bubbles - Biffy Clyro. It just makes me smile every time!

If you could only eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Curry, for sure. I love anything spicy, but especially a good Indian curry. I especially love ones with spinach and chickpeas, like Uttar Pradesh masala.

What is something you really dislike?

I hate it when people make unfair judgements based on someone's sexual preference, colour, age, sex, job....basically, I hate prejudice. Don't judge people based on your own experiences, or assumptions you've made. I like to treat everyone as an individual, and try to understand things from their point of view before making judgements.

Summer or winter?

I'm going to be awkward and say autumn. I love the colours and smells and foods in autumn, it's definitely my favourite time of year.

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?

Hmm, tough one. I loved Amsterdam, because I loved seeing everyone going around on bikes, and I adored the houseboats, but my heart belongs by the sea. I think Brighton. I really felt at home there, because you had the quirky shops and markets, the buzz of a city, and the beautiful beach.

Name 5 of your favourite films

Grease

Lord of the Rings Trilogy

Sinister

Erin Brokovich

Despicable Me (both of them)

If you won the lottery, what would you buy?

Definitely a house! I'd sort all my favourite people out with mortgage payments/new houses if I could afford it, and buy a big seaside retreat for us, with a triple garage filled with classic cars for Steve. I'd also donate a lot to charity.

What's your favourite day of the week?

Saturday. Steve is home, the kids are home, and we often go somewhere as a family together. The evenings usually involve curry, cuddles and a scary movie. Perfection.

What three things would you take to a desert island?

My family, cooking knives and a camera.

Sweet or Savoury?

Usually sweet but right now I'm craving savoury - olives, salted Doritos, hummous and cheese.

Early bird or night owl?

Definitely early bird, I can't cope with late nights anymore! I also love a good sunrise :)

Name five of your favourite books

The Red Tent
The Gilded Chamber
The Year of Wonders
The Secret Life of Bees
Simple Abundance

Favourite Drink?

Ginger beer and lime. I'm pretty much tee total these days, and on the rare occasions I've had alcohol in the past few years, I've really not enjoyed it!

Favourite animal?

Definitely dog, they're just happy to be alive. Dogs can teach people a lot about living in the moment.

That's it! I tag...

Holly at Our Holly Days

Emily Jane at Emily Jane and the years of stolen sleep

Fridge Raider Pasta

I love meal planning - in fact, so much so that I'm working on a series of posts for this blog all about meal planning and organising your food, but more on that later!

Some of my favourite meals, however, are the ones I don't plan. The ones that arise from the "end of the week, use up the contents of the fridge before shopping again" days. 

Today, I made a fridge raider pasta dish, which actually turned out to be pretty delicious, so I thought I'd share it with you lovely lot.
It was so good, Amelie cleared two platefuls! Tasty, healthy, packed with veg and a great way to make sure you don't waste those odds and ends in the fridge before you go shopping again.

Here you go, enjoy...

Fridge Raider Pasta with Sausages - serves 4

1/2 Butternut squash

2 onions

1 red pepper

2 cloves garlic

15 cherry tomatoes

4 sausages 

4 Tablespoons tomato puree

3 Tablespoons Olive Oil

1-2 Tablespoons Balsamic Vinegar

6 Handfuls pasta twists

Preheat oven to 200c.

Chop Butternut squash into 1cm cubes (no need to peel, the skin is really nice). Peel and quarter onion (I top and tail them as well), and deseed and roughly chop the pepper. 

Add squash, onion, pepper, whole cherry tomatoes and unpeeled garlic cloves into a roasting dish and toss with the olive oil and balsamic vinegar.

Roast for 45 minutes - 1 hour, until squash is nice and soft, and everything is nicely caramelised and the olive oil, balsamic vinegar and tomato juices have turned into a lovely, sticky sauce. Remove the garlic.

Meanwhile, pan fry the sausages until fully cooked, and boil the pasta until tender.

Slice the sausages and add to the vegetables, along with the pasta and tomato puree. Add a couple of ladles of the cooking water from the pasta and stir everything together until nicely coated.

Serve in big pasta bowls with parmesan, if liked.

Variations: Sausages were just what I happened to have kicking about in my fridge, but you could use chorizo, smoked sausage, hot dogs, leftover chicken or beef, gammon, fish, or no meat at all!

Mushrooms and/or feta would be awesome in this, I just didn't have any.

The beauty with a fridge raider dish is that you basically just use up what you have, you could take this idea in a million different directions! You could replace the pasta with rice, couscous, potatoes, bulgur wheat, anything! Go forth and empty those fridges - tell me what you make!

The agnostic approach

When Charlie was born, I thought I knew exactly how to bring up a child. Why? Because I'd read the books.
Everyone says babies are not born with instruction manuals, but the shops seem to be full of them. Bibles for the parenting factions.
You choose your approach, you buy your instruction manual, you follow it to the letter, and it works, right?

You've got any number of factions you can join - you can be on the Attachment Parenting team, the Free Range Kids team, the Rod of Iron team, the Baby Led team...you name it, there's a guru with all the answers, just waiting to take your money and tell you that basically, you're doing everything wrong and they are the only ones with the right answers.

So what happens if you buy the parenting bible, follow the instructions, and it doesn't work? Are you doing everything wrong? Is your child damaged, ruined, beyond help?

No. Just no. Can I let you in on a secret?

The instruction manuals don't work. Not all the time, anyway. Children are not computers, or cars, or flat pack wardrobes, they're HUMAN. They're variable.
What works for one child might not work for another, and what works for one parent might not work for another.

I remember well the terror I felt as a first time mum, just absolutely desperate to do everything right, and feeling like I'd permanently ruined my child every time I made a tiny mistake.
Simple comments from people such as "You don't give him a DUMMY, do you?", "Oh, jarred food? Don't you make your own?", "You're cuddling him too much, you'll spoil him!", struck fear into my heart.
I'm doing it wrong! Quick, check the instruction manual, what can I do to make it right?

I followed the instructions that Gina Ford gave me, going against every one of my instincts, crying outside his bedroom door while he screamed himself to sleep, with Gina's imaginary voice screaming in my ear, "Don't give in" He's trying to control you! Show him who's boss!"
My baby was the enemy, and I needed to defeat him, lest he rule my life with his demanding baby behaviour. Why on earth should I feed my screaming baby? It's 6pm, he's not due a feed for at least half an hour!
So I followed the rules, believing that I needed to, Gina knew more than me, a silly 23 year old first time mum. I had to turn to the expert, because I wanted to do it right, even though it made me uncomfortable, unhappy, and went against everything I believed in.

Luckily, 3 kids later, I've found the answer. I've even given it a pretentious name! Can I have my own parenting manual, please?

It's the Agnostic Approach.
It's the "Choose the best bits of all the other approaches and ignore the rest" approach.
It's the "Get up every day and wing it" approach.
It's the "Ignore everyone else and do what works for you" approach.
It's the "Throw away the books and be your own expert" approach.

The thing is, no mattter what you do, some faction or other will disapprove. You'll always be wrong.
If you hug your kids, you're spoiling them. If you don't hug your kids, they're emotionally neglected.
If you breastfeed, you're making a rod for your own back. If you bottle feed, you're selfish and shocking, isn't that what boobs are for?
Co-sleeping? Goodbye sex life. Cot sleeping? Emotionally neglected.
Free range parenting? You're raising hoodlums with no sense of boundaries. Strict parenting? Your kids will never have minds of their own!

And so on, and so on.
Basically, you'll always be doing something wrong, but as far as I'm concerned, if you're happy, your kids are happy, and you go to bed every day with a vow to get up and do it all again tomorrow, learning from your mistakes along the way and showing your kids that the only way to learn is to keep going - you're doing it right.

Every man wants a son....WTF?

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Actually, this little jellybaby is our newest addition - say hello to Tootie Le Fourth!

We had our first scan a few weeks ago, and this is our tootie at just 8 weeks gestation.

We have another scan next week, and can't wait to see how much our little jellybean has grown and developed since the last scan.

Already, we're getting the Big Question - are you going to find out if it's a boy or girl?

The answer is no, we like surprises. Of course, we'll be analysing every scan to bits, but we're more than happy to wait until the moment this little bundle is pulled from the sunroof to find out whether it's Arthur or Martha.

Kidding - those aren't our chosen names. It'll be George or Mildred.

Also kidding.

Anyway, I must share something that's been irking me lately. That is, the number of people (and there's been quite a lot), who have said to Steve "I hope for your sake that this one's a boy."

Um, why? Well, the resounding answer I seem to get when I ask this question is "Because every man wants a son."

O-kaaaaaay.

Now, this is insulting on many levels. First of all, we already have a boy. Remember Charlie? 11 years old, extremely handsome, smart, funny, great kid? Well, he's also a boy!

But, and this is the big BUT, he's not Steve's biological son, which means he doesn't count. 

Thing is....he counts to us, and that's what matters.

It's also insulting because does that mean people think Steve was secretly disappointed to have Amelie, a mere girl? Of course not, nothing could be further from the truth, he adores his girl, and his other girl, and his boy, and this unborn child, whatever gender s/he may be.

I get it from a purely gender-related point of view. The boys in our house are pretty outnumbered. Apart from Steve and Charlie, there's my mum, me, Daisy, Amelie, Marge (the cat), Molly (the dog),Mindy and Jessie (mum's two chiahuauas) and our three (female) guinea pigs.

So yes, in that respect, a boy would in some tiny part help to even out the numbers somewhat, but really, is there any other real reason to have a preference?

The thing is, just because you have a baby of a certain gender, it doesn't automatically mean that they will become the person you had in mind. Not all girls are into princesses and tea parties, and not all boys are into football and cars.

Charlie HATES football. I tried to get him playing football when he was 4, not because I thought he "should", but because his nursery class were starting a new team and I thought I'd get him involved. He hated it from the start, and despite several attempts to engage him, he knew his mind and wouldn't have it.

The final straw came when he absolutely refused one day to take part and was in floods of tears at the sidelines. I realised how unhappy he was and went to give him a hug, at which point the coach walked past and sneered at my FOUR YEAR OLD CHILD "You know what you are? A mummy's boy. And if you don't get on that field and play, you'll always be a mummy's boy"

At which point I picked up my mummy's boy and politely informed the coach that I'd rather my boy was the only gay in the village than a neanderthal like him, and vowed to never make him do anything ever again, just because his gender dictated that he "should".

Incidentally, at 11, he's no more of a mummy's boy than the next kid. He likes computers, and learning, and science. His favourite colour is purple and his favourite band is Queen. Should I be worried? Um, no.

Daisy is into cheerleading, but hates Disney Princesses. She has never worn anything pink, or sparkly, or glittery. In fact, even as a baby, if I'd tried to dress her up like a dolly (which I wouldn't), she'd have ripped it off because it would have hindered her from climbing up the curtains or swinging from door handles.

If you ask her what her party trick is, it won't be singing a song from Frozen, or showing you her shoe collection. It'l be doing the splits upside down, and just as you're about to applaud, she'll fart really loudly and proceed to burp the alphabet, just because she can.

Yep, that's our little princess.

Amelie hasn't quite reached the point of showing preferences for much yet, but I look forward to watching her little personality develop, just as I look forward to watching Tootie Le Fourth's personality develop.

We aren't limiting our kids to certain things based on their gender. We don't walk into a toy shop or clothes shop and automatically rule out half the contents as being "unsuitable", we let our kids decide who they want to be, because at the end of the day, that's exactly what they'll do anyway.

Our kids have the world at their feet - whether they want to be doctors, artists, teachers, astronauts, drag queens or bin collectors - all we want is for them to be happy in their own skin and content to be themselves, safe in  the knowledge that no matter what, we will always love and support them.

So please, don't hope for Steve's sake or anyone else's that this baby is a certain gender, as long as our kids are happy, healthy and are brought up to be decent human beings, their gender is absolutely irrelevant.

Online bullying

Last night, a good friend of mine had a horrible experience - someone posted something very personal from her past on social media, something she really didn't want anyone to see.

Her response was incredible...far from running away, she went on Facebook and publicly told her friends and family what was happening to her. She has received a massive outpouring of support, and now, rather than feeling humiliated and degraded, she has come out of the experience with even more respect from her true friends, and is empowered.

In short, she's beaten the bullies at their own game.

A couple of years ago, I experienced vicious online bullying, again from a "friend". She had taken a generic post on my Facebook the wrong way, assuming it was about her (it wasn't), and rather than ask me about it, she instead got her husband to launch a frankly disgusting hate campaign against me.

He posted that I was a c**t, a whore, and many other horrible names. He said he hoped my husband would see sense and leave me, and worst of all, said some really nasty things involving my unborn baby's health.

Other people, many who didn't even know me, joined in, calling me names, making threats and wishing all manner of nastiness on me.

What did I do? I ran.

I deleted and blocked them on Facebook, made sure none of the nasty posts could be seen on my page, and otherwise just let them get away with it.

To be fair, at the time, they were having an extremely hard time and just wanted to lash out at someone, and deliberately misunderstanding my post had given them the ideal opportunity.

I didn't want to make things any harder for them, but looking back, I wish I hadn't just let them get off with treating me in such an unforgivable way.

I wish I had had the courage to publicly say "This is happening to me...don't let it happen to you"

Instead, most people I know aren't even aware that this happened to me.

We can't let bullies win. No matter what the circumstances, if someone is making you feel in any way uncomfortable, humiliated or upset online, please please do something about it.

Tell your friends, tell your kids, and tell yourself. You are worth more, you deserve to only be surrounded by people who make you happy.

To anyone affected by bullying, online or otherwise, take action now. I promise the support will overwhelm you.

And to my friend, I salute you. Thank you for inspiring me xxx