Thursday 31 October 2013

24 hours in the life of a crazy mama


Just to show you I'm not always an irritatingly cheerful ray of sunshine, here's a rundown of my last 24 hours ;)

Wednesday, 8am: Feeling rubbish. The cold that floored everyone yesterday has caught up with me, so while everyone else is back to work/school, I'm tired and ratty. Gotta keep on keeping on though, engage positive mindset :)

Wednesday, 9am: Dropped kids off at school, and am heading back to my car which is parked in a street opposite the school (the school car park is tiny and always full). Am confronted by Angry Resident, who informs me that, despite the fact I'm not blocking anyone's drive and there are no yellow lines, he's "reported me to the police" for using his street (yes, apparently he owns the entire street) as a car park, and that maybe in future I should "get off that lazy arse and walk the kids to school instead of parking in HIS street". He ends this pleasant exchange by letting me know that if I even THINK about parking in HIS street again, he'll be "waiting" for me.
Now. In a better frame of mind, I might have informed him that, unlike 90% of the school parents, I don't live within a decent walking distance, and legally, I have every right to park where I like.
In my tired, frazzled, feeling rubbish frame of mind, however, I mumbled a lot of apologies, got into my car and burst into big snotty tears.

Wednesday, 9.15am: Get home, relay story to my mum, and continue to pour snot and tears everywhere. Never mind, at least I have a new baby group to look forward to starting at 10am, need to get myself ready for that!

Wednesday, 10am: Dammit. Realise that we're waiting for a furniture delivery, and because it hasn't arrived yet, I have to miss the baby group. I'm gutted, because I've been waiting months to start and this was the first day. More tears. Seriously, what is WRONG with me? Maybe I'm hormonal. Maybe it's a full moon? It is nearly Halloween...

Wednesday, 11.30am: Right, that's it. I'm still feeling rubbish so have decided to treat myself to a nap. Off to put Amelie down and snooze beside her, that'll make me feel better...

Wednesday, 11.35am: No such luck. The phone rings, and it's DFS, informing me that the sofa we ordered, which isn't due for 3 weeks, is there now and must be delivered tomorrow. WHAT???
I haven't got rid of my old sofa yet! My carpet is being laid on saturday and the living room needs to be empty. A living room with not one but two sofas in it does not count as empty!
Quick stressful phone conference with husband (who is at work and not really able to talk), where we decide that the only thing we can do is chuck the old sofa in the garden, get the new one delivered into the living room, and then put it into the garden on saturday while the carpet fitter is here. What's the weather forecast for saturday? Rain. Bugger.

Wednesday, 12.30pm: Suddenly realise that we need to pay the full balance of the sofa tomorrow. We don't have enough money in the bank. Luckily, we have enough between several accounts to scrape it together, so I nip onto internet banking to juggle some funds, only to discover that when I changed my password last time, it wasn't confirmed. Old password doesn't work. New password doesn't work. Get completely locked out of internet banking after repeated failed attempts to sign in, because I'm obviously some kind of masked hacker. Baby wakes up, no housework has been done, and no money has been moved. Deep breaths, we have a baby halloween party to look forward to at 2pm, that'll cheer me up!

Wednesday, 2pm: Furniture delivery STILL hasn't arrived, so we have to miss the party. Eat lots of chocolate, which is not dairy free.

Wednesday, 3pm: Furniture arrives, just as I'm on my way out to pick up the kids. Quickly get it chucked into mum's living room and race to school. I'm late of course, the tiny car park is full and I have to park miles away (not literally of course), so as not to incur the wrath of Angry Resident, who may or may not be "waiting" for me. It's raining, blowing a gale and poor Amelie screams all the way to the school. Sigh.

Wednesday, 6pm: Drop Daisy off at school disco. Luckily, Steve arrived home just as we headed out the door, so at least I didn't have to drag Amelie out again! Phew :)

Wednesday, 11pm: After settling the kids and laughing off the disastrous day with Steve, we spend the evening watching TV and cuddling, only to remember as we head upsteair that we need to get the old sofa outside before morning. Cue dragging sofa and armchair outside n the rainy darkness. Make each other laugh with juvenile jokes about what an effort is is to squeeze such a large heavy thing out of one's back door, and how we won't be able to sit down for days...

Thursday, 7am: Daisy starts the day off beautifully with an announcement that she can't go to school (she does this at least once a week). Today, her reason was that she has a sore back. Sure, that's possible, but she can miss gym and still go to school. She insists that i pick gher up during the day and take her to the doctor. She has a real fascination with going to the doctor, ad would go every day if she could. I say no, I can treat her with painkillers, and besides, I have to go to the bank and then wait in for the sofa.
Then she goes right for the jugular..."What's more inportant, your new sofa, or your child's health?"
Ooooooh. Good one. Luckily, thanks to the power of Calpol and the mobile phone, in case of real emergencies, the sofa wins this round.
Of course, I'm riddled with mother guilt - these kids know where my most sensitive guilt buttons are, and will push them at the most effective moment. This moment was perfect, because during this conversation, I'd walked into mum's living room to feed her dogs, and squelched my bare feet into a steaming pile of chihuahua poop.
Nothing adds insult to injury like having your mothering skills questioned by a 7 year old while scraping dogshit off your bare foot...

Thursday, 10am: Having dropped the kids off (explaining to the Head Teacher that Daisy has a sore back and to phone me if there's any problems), successfully transferred money at the bank and gone home to a hot cup of coffee and a lovely baby cuddle, I'm laughing at the previous 24 hours and back to my old happy self.
There's always something, and really, sometimes, you just have to laugh!

Speaking of which, the baby has just woken up, so let the craziness resume....have a good day, and if you don't have a good day, try to see the funny side tomorrow!

Jodie xxxx

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