Random rant - response to Paris Lees

I'm not generally one for spouting strong opinions - I'm such a natural people pleaser that I tend to crumble at the slightest whiff of disagreement from someone. I don't generally like confrontation, and try to take an open minded, let's look at this from every angle kind of approach.

However, recently, I've had some experience of standing my ground, fighting my corner and giving my side of the story - and you know what? It felt bloody marvellous.

Plus, I think people have more respect for someone who is willing so stand by their beliefs, rather than a feeble fence sitter who will back down at the smallest challenge. Having said that, I will always listen to other people's point of view, and will never just shout anyone down.

So, in an effort to get my splinter covered bum off the fence for a change, I had to post this response to an article I read recently - I'm sure you'll have heard of Josie Cunningham, a girl who has shot to fame by getting a boob job on the NHS so she could become a glamour model, and more recently caused a stir by saying she wanted to have an abortion at 19 weeks because she wanted to appear on Celebrity Big Brother.

I should add that she has since changed her mind and chosen not to go ahead with the abortion - cynical publicity stunt, anyone?

The article in question was written by Paris Lees, and this is the full article here.

Basically, I wanted to write a bigger post on this, because there are some points she makes that I fully agree with, and others that I totally disagree with.

First of all, she speaks about the social media storm following the original abortion story - where thousands of people made horrible remarks about Josie's appearance, her upbringing, her morals, you name it. Death threats aplenty.

Not cool, people. As soon as you start with the name calling and threats of physical violence, you've lost your moral high ground. But then Paris goes on to say;

Her crime? She wants to be famous. Clearly she is the first woman in Britain with the sufficient audacity to express this disgusting desire. Never mind Jessie J and Rita Ora and whatsherface off of EastEnders and all those other women who presumably were hungry enough for fame that they went out and got it. They probably have nice tits. Josie’s don’t make the grade though, so she doesn’t get to be famous. She should just stay in Leeds and shut up.

Okay, but let's not forget that these people all worked and trained for their jobs in the entertainment industry. Why do we suddenly have this generation of entitled kids who believe that they just want it all but not to have to do anything to get it? Why is it that the likes of Joey Essex and the cast of Geordie Shore think that they're entitled to have all the trappings of fame and fortune, but all they have to do is get their tits out or be mind numbingly stupid? What happened to actually working for your ambitions in life?

Fair enough, Paris does acknowledge that Josie doesn't exactly enamour herself to the public, by bragging about her NHS boob job and her abortion plans. Quite.

Then, she goes on speak about how the media is forever highlighting famous women's bodies, how the headlines are never about what a woman has achieved, but how much leg she was showing, or how amazing her cleavage looked at an awards ceremony.

Culture, I’m confused. Do we celebrate young women who take off their clothes? Or do we despise them? Or does it all depend on which woman is taking her clothes off? And, if so, how does the woman find out, beforehand, which sort of woman she is – and if she is likely to be celebrated or despised? 

Now, I completely agree - I hate the misogynistic way that the media choose to overlook talent, contribution to society or achievement, and instead focus on boobs and legs. Such is the shallow, vacuous, looks obsessed, empty celebrity society they seem to live in. It sucks, I'm with you there.

Now, the article goes on to imply that the public reaction might be different if a woman chose to have an abortion for a more "well respected" career, such as a barrister or a surgeon. Well, apart from the fact that these careers are probably something that someone has been studying and working hard towards all their lives, you might assume that they wouldn't have babies in their immediate plans anyway, and if they accidentally found themselves pregnant, they might face a very tough decision.

I suspect there’s more than a whiff of snobbery when people pile in to judge Josie for her plans to abort her baby. What would the reaction be if she were a little more refined, a little less Northern, a little less fake-tanned? If she’d been talking to the Lady instead of the Mirror? If her language were more delicate? She says she’s “a good mum” but “this is ­something I have wanted for so long. I can’t give up my big break for anything”. What if "big break" referred to training as a barrister, or a surgeon, rather than a stint in the Big Brother house? Would people be admiring Josie for her steely determination and fearlessness in the face of tough personal decisions?

I can only talk for myself here, but I'm not sure I would applaud anyone for choosing to have an abortion at 19 weeks because they got a better offer, whatever that offer may be. I think there might be a slight difference between being halfway through a very long term training and career plan which didn't have babies in it at all, and choosing to take a quick fix over a life.

While I would respect a woman's choice to take a career over a child, I have to be honest, I wouldn't be throwing them a congratulations party.

Then, Paris goes on to speak about the reaction from Nicola McClean, another glamour model type whom she compares to Josie, because let's face it, they have a lot of similarities. Nicola did say some pretty nasty things about Josie, and Paris points out that they've both had cosmetic surgery;

She also had an operation when she was a child to correct a “bad squint”. It’s not my place to say if this squint was cosmetic but I’m pretty sure squints aren’t life threatening. But she had it done. On the NHS! The bloody NHS paying for things that aren’t cancer. Utter bastards.

Really? Can we compare a childhood operation to correct a sight problem with an adult having a boob job in order to fast track her way to fame and fortune? Not really a valid comparison, is it?

Now comes my favourite part;

Still, Nicola tweeted that she is: "Totally outraged reading about that stupid slag that wants an abortion so she can go on big brother !!! She doesn't deserve children." It’s funny because, while Josie said that one of her reasons for considering an abortion was so she could appear on BB, she also cites the children she already has and her desire to give them the best in life: “I want it for myself but I want it for my boys… I love them and I want to be able to buy them the most expensive toys and to give them nice holidays. People will criticise me but I’m a good mother.” No one seems to be talking about that bit.

Now, hold on a cotton picking minute. She didn't say she was doing it for her KIDS! That makes it all okay!

"Hey kids, guess what? You could have had a brother or sister but I chose to get rid of them for money. So yeah, they're dead now, but look at our massive telly!"

I'm sorry, but on what fucking planet is it okay to teach our children that things are more important than people? That money is more important than life? That fame is more important than relationships?

And to put that kind of responsibility onto her kids? "Yes kids, I got rid of your brother or sister, but I did it for you!"

Okay, so not only are they responsible for this decision, but they're also expected to be grateful! Sod off.

It makes me so sad that Josie is so desperate for fame that she'd rather be famous for being hated than not famous at all. Why would you teach your kids that it's okay that mummy gets spat at in the street, look at her pink Range Rover!  Why would you teach your kids that material things - shiny, fancy expensive things are more important than integrity, dignity, and love?

It worries me that we seem to have spawned a generation of entitled assholes who just want the stuff, the money and the fame at any cost, so much so that they'd sell the lives of their own children to get them.

We get by financially, but we're not well off by any means. Our bills are paid, our kids are fed, but fancy holidays are out, designer clothes are out - hell, even a trip to Costco to stock up the freezer is a special occasion that we have to save weeks in advance for. But we're teaching our kids that if you want something, you work for it, you save for it, you don't just stomp your feet and expect a quick fix.

I can see why we do have a generation of people who think "Sod the education - I'll just marry a footballer/get my tits out". Why bother when you can do that? It just makes me sad is all.

Paris finishes by saying;

I still may not agree with your motives, or how you choose to present yourself in the media, and you’re never gonna get a Pride of Britain award, babe. But you don’t deserve all that blind hate and death threats. Your boobs, by the way, are fine. The really ugly tits are the ones that have been bullying you.

Damn right, I totally agree. Keep the death threats, the name calling and the blind hate to yourself please.

I think I just feel strongly about this because personally, I've had to make sacrifices for my children. I had to give up a hard fought place on a midwifery degree programme because I couldn't afford the childcare, I had to give up a photography course because I was offered a full time job, and at that time, feeding my kids was more important than fulfilling my personal ambitions. I know what it's like to have to choose between your dreams and your kids, and for me, my kids win, every time.

If someone came to me right now at 15 weeks pregnant and said they could give me a millionaire lifestyle on the condition that I aborted my baby, I'd tell them to get stuffed, and so would my kids. They know what's more important. We might be driving a clapped out old campervan instead of a range rover, but we've got something that money can't buy.