Operation: Tough Love - the story so far...

Well, it's now Tuesday, and we started this on Friday, so I'm here with a little update of how it's going

The difference is astounding! Before, we had no evening at all, Amelie would wake literally every 20-30 minutes, until we either took her downstairs, or gave up and went upstairs ourselves. We'd almost forgotten what our telly looked like, which isn't technically a bad thing...

On Saturday night, Amelie was settled in the usual way - 7.30pm, upstairs, brush teeth, story, boob and down in her cot once she fell asleep. I'm going to work on putting her down awake, but she actually falls asleep very quickly on the boob.

At 8.30pm, as predicted, she woke up crying. Daddy went up with a bottle of formula, and she took the most minuscule amount, but fell asleep quickly and went back down. Miraculously, she stayed there until we went up at 11.30pm!

She woke when we came in the room, but I gave her a cuddle and some water (we've decided on a no milk after 10pm or before 6am rule), and she was back down asleep by 11.50pm.

She slept solidly from then until 5.20am! Amazing! Another quick cuddle and sip of water (5 mins max) and she was back down until 7am. That's the best she's slept since she was born!

Sunday was a great day, I felt so refreshed! We went for a long walk in the morning (Amelie slept most of the time in her backpack), and then went out for lunch and visited Gamma and Gaga (Steve's parents), then Amelie slept again from 4pm-6pm.

all that fresh air knocked her clean out

Sunday night was a little trickier, because she'd slept late in the afternoon, she was wide awake and not keen to go down, but did eventually settle in her cot at 9.30pm. 

She even stayed asleep when we went to bed a while later, which was unheard of! Then, close to midnight, something amazing happened. She let out a little cry, and I immediately froze, waiting for the inevitable wail. It didn't come. She smacked her lips together a few times, rumbled about in the darkness and went quiet again. Her breathing slowed, regulated and she was back into a deep sleep.

I relaxed again, and was just falling asleep when it happened again. A little cry, a few lip smacks, a rumble and then silence. Deep breathing. Peace.

She's self settling! OMG, she's self settling!*

I was immediately proud, but also had that all-too-familiar pang of letting go. We all get it, when a child learns to do something alone and no longer "needs" us the same. I felt a little bad lying there, just letting her settle herself, but had to remind myself that this is important, and an essential part of growing up.

Anyway, I digress. Amelie would probably have slept for several hours, but started to cough really badly, and eventually I got her up and gave her some calpol and water. She was still coughing, so I put her into her bouncy chair once she fell asleep, and she stayed there for 4 hours.

Last night was great again, she has got the hang of the "no milk overnight" rule, and is happily taking water when she wakes, and going back down without a fuss.I can't believe the difference in such a short amount of time, and the next step is to try and get her to go down into her cot awake. Not quite yet though, let's just get this skill in the bag first!

* THIS is what they mean by "self soothing". Not screaming and screaming until they give up and fall asleep, just waking, realising it's still dark and quiet, and going happily back to sleep.
When you hear a baby screaming inconsolably, and their parent says "Oh, just leave him, I'm teaching him to self soothe", smack them. 
I completely agree with the attatchment parenting philosophy of responding to a baby's needs immediately. It doesn't teach them to be clingy or demanding, they become more independent, because they trust that they can do things on their own, but that someone will always, always be there when they need it.
In contrast, leaving a baby to scream doesn't teach them to be independent, it teaches them to be fearful and mistrusting. They don't know when you're coming back, so will go straight to frantic screaming when left alone.When that stops, it's not because they've learned to be "good", it's because they've given up.
I wouldn't recommend leaving a baby to cry alone in a room for any more than a minute or two at a time, it worked so much better for me to cuddle Amelie until she stopped crying (distraction works well, don't worry that it's waking them up because they're already awake. The priority is to get them to be calm without a feed/dummy/whatever you're trying to wean them off first), and then work on getting her to fall asleep.
I'm also now starting to put her into her cot for short periods to play while I tidy up or hoover, just to teach her that the cot is a nice, safe place. I'll be working on putting her down awake and reading to her during the day, and then progress to putting her down awake at night soon. One step at a time!

Just chillin' in my cot, all by myself, Nothin' to it!