Meeting my soulmate - a love story

I never believed in soulmates before. I mean, I knew you could meet someone and feel an instant connection with them, be it a friend, colleague or what have you, but romantically? Unlikely!

The way I saw it, when it came to relationships, you had two choices - either wait for someone who is absolutely perfect for you in every way (and feels the same way about you), whilst ignoring everyone who isn't absolutely amazing, or meet someone who is nice, wants the same things you do, and make it work.

Being the impatient type (and not being entirely convinced of the whole soulmate thing anyway), I went with the latter, which explains why I ended up spending 13 years of my life with the wrong person.

Well, the less said about that, the better, but what I will say is this - you know that thing where people say when you're with the right person, you just know? Not only is that absolutely true, but the same applies when you're with the wrong person - you just know.

It doesn't matter how hard you try, how well you get on, how much you might try to fake it or force it, if you are with the wrong person, you know it, they know it and you can't ignore it forever. That sense of unease, that gnawing unhappiness will sneak in under your door like a fog. It will follow you around and get into your lungs until you can't breathe. It will hurt your chest and twist your stomach, and one day, maybe after one year, maybe after ten years, you will reach a point where you realise that being alone with at least a chance of proper love in the future is far less scary than being in the wrong place with no chance of proper love, ever.

Anyway, I digress. I took that big scary leap of faith and spent almost a year on my own. I made mistakes, I was selfish, I rediscovered my youth, met more wrong people and despite my fears, I realised that actually, I was okay on my own. That's where the second cliche comes in - you'll meet the right person when you learn to be okay with yourself. I wasn't a serial dater, I wasn't a party animal, I'm a mum. I like being at home, I like homely things, and eventually, I was comfortable to just work hard, take care of my kids and be alright with me.

And that, my friends, is when it happened.

I got a random message online from someone who I'd briefly chatted to many months before, and instantly felt very comfortable with him. We met just two days later, and got on immediately. I thought he was gorgeous, he says he thought the same, and about an hour into the date, without realising it, I suddenly noticed that we were naturally holding hands. He said that when you meet the right person, you can tell right away, and I replied "Well in that case, I think this is the bit where we kiss".

The rest is history! That first date was one of those completely "thunderbolts and lightning" moments. Seriously, it was like that part in a film where the twist is revealed, and you think "AHA! So THAT'S why all that happened!"

Suddenly I knew why things had never worked out before, it was nothing like two strangers meeting for the first time, there was a recognition there, as if we'd been looking for each other all our lives. Steve felt exactly the same way, and the whole first date was spent excitedly catching up on each other's lives and laughing about how shocked everyone would be that after one date, we were completely in love.

After the pubs closed, we weren't ready to be parted yet (but ever the lady, I was determined to go home by myself), so we wandered the streets until 4am and eventually, after reluctantly getting into separate taxis, we immediately sent texts saying how much we missed each other!

As soon as I got up in the morning, I drove straight to his house because I couldn't wait to see him again. 

We've not spent more than a day apart since then. He moved into my house two weeks later, and we spoke about marriage and babies right away. It was never a case of "if", but "when".

We were married in a very emotional humanist ceremony on 2nd March, exactly a year to the day from that amazing first date. On our wedding day, I was 25 weeks pregnant, and it was lovely to know that our baby was there. As I said in a speech on the day, he has shown me what proper love is, he's taught me to never settle for less than I deserve, and he's made me realise that real happiness is absolutely worth waiting for.

So that's the story! It could have been longer, but some of it has to be kept just for us, right? 

The moral of the story is this - don't settle, the real thing is out there. And to Steve, my best friend, my co-parent, my partner, my lover, my soulmate....thank you xxxx